Multiplying The Wrong Way #1

Maths Teacher : How many tents are in the camping ground next to the school , Johnny?
Johnny : Fifty
Maths Teacher : Fifty!? I can only see five.
Johnny : Yes, but five tents are fifty!

Comb Loan

Teacher: "How come you do not comb your hair?"
Johnny: "No comb, Sir."
Teacher: "Use your dad's then."
Johnny: "No hair, Sir."

What is at the bottom of the ocean ...

What's at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?

A nervous wreck!

Detention Span 2

Who invented fractions ?

Henry the eighth !

Detention Span 1

Teacher: Please don't talk while you are doing your exam !
Pupil: It's alright ,Miss, we're not doing the exam - just talking !

Knock,Knock 1

Knock,knock

Who's there?

Egbert...

Egbert who?

Egbert no bacon please!

I Think We've Met?

One day a man heard a knock at his door.
He opened it and found a snail.
He then picked it up and threw it as far as he could.
Two years later, he heard another knock at his door and he found the same snail, which said, "What the heck was that all about?!!"

Why did the worm cross the road?

Q :  Why did the worm cross the road?

A : Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot!

My first joke

Johnny : "Miss may I please go to the toilet?"
Teacher : "First say the alphabet please."
Johnny : "A,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y and z."
Teacher : "Where's the"p" Johnny?"
Johnny : "Trickling down my leg Miss!"